One of the most interesting things I have ever been called was caustic. Caustic is one of those great words that invite interpretation. It means both abrasive and cleansing. I like it. I’ll take that.
I have opinions and attitudes and snarky comments for just about every situation. I crack my self up. But not everyone thinks I’m funny. Most of us learn to tone down the wise acre shtick as we wander into our 40’s and I have learned to button my lip in most situations.
One of the things that really gets me spouting off and heavy on the sarcasm is parenting BS. I’m pretty sure that I’m on the right track and anyone who is doing anything I wouldn’t do is on the wrong one. And I babble on the topic with mad abandon. Especially when it’s gonna get a good laugh. But I do try to keep my opinions to myself when they are not wanted or helpful.
I would like to say something to the whole smug my way is the best way world. To every “my kid eats kale” mom and “I taught him to read when he was 2” dad. And maybe more importantly something to say to the family who hasn’t slept a full night in two years and the mom who gets called to school three times a week.
PERSONALITY IS A CRAP SHOOT.
When your kid pops out he is who he is and you got nothing to say about it. It is your job as a parent to teach him how to do things like use a fork and a toilet, how to get along in society. But whether you got one who sweetly sits at the dinner table and eats all in front of him without being told or you got one who throws food at the wall until you’ve exhausted your capacity for sending him to the time out chair (or whatever your equivalent is) is not due to anything you did or did not do. The best thing you can do as a parent is work with what you’ve got and and attempt to not lose your mind.